Necrotongue

So, post-Valentine's letdown, this was a bit of a pick-me-up. It didn't exactly hit the series' all-time highs for me. But, if I said I wasn't enjoying myself I'd be straight-up lying. I got a good laugh out of that pool showdown with the requisite cues and balls, and Abed's take on relationships had me chuckling too. / Lesson learned: Put your heart into it!

What a letdown. I've mentioned before how I set the bar high for holiday episodes of sitcoms, and this one just didn't hit the mark. The Valentine's Day plot was kinda weak – there was so much potential for humor, but instead, it turned into this weird relationship mess and a downright bizarre travesty show. / Lesson learned: If you're planning to get wasted, maybe leave your phone at home.

Okay, so it wasn't the greatest episode, but hey, it was noticeably better than the last couple. Unfortunately, they decided to keep the Vaughn storyline going in the fifteenth episode, and I was never into philosophical debates over vegetables. On a brighter note, Kickpuncher looked like an awesome C or maybe even a D-grade movie that I'd totally be down to watch. I mean, if I made it through Sharknado... / Lesson learned: Don't be pushy.

I appreciate the absence of Jack Black in contrast to the previous episode, but overall, it didn't grab me as I hoped. The creators leaned heavy into relationship drama, while the humor was apparently supposed to be provided by Moby, but it kinda fell flat. Once again, the real fun came through with Troy and Abed's episode tag. / Lesson learned: You can't hide from Twitter

So, I had to knock the rating down a few notches. The thirteenth episode brought in Jack Black. And because I've had this weird, unwarranted dislike for him since day one, it ruined the whole vibe of the episode for me. But to be fair, it wasn't all on Jack Black; other than some cool MASH references, the episode didn't do much for me. / Lesson learned: A confused, hyperactive person can turn a good thing into a total mess.

This episode was close to getting a higher rating, but it needed some tweaking. It's a bummer the creators couldn't resist the unnecessary and nonsensical fight scene. If they stuck to exploring Christmas celebrations from seven different angles, it could've been genuinely interesting and entertaining. Unfortunately, they watered it down. / Lesson learned: If those pagan folks won't ditch their traditions, just incorporate them into your religion. Problem solved.

Honestly, some of the thought processes of the movie's creators just went over my head. What's interesting, though, is that I didn't zone out. I actually had a decent time with this oddity, but if someone asked me why, I couldn't tell you. It's a mystery even to me. I guess, besides the cast, the film's vibe resonated with me – it was consistently peculiar and, at times, downright bizarre. Either way, two questions surfaced, and nobody provided any answers. Here they are. Why would a single, 28-year-old, white heterosexual guy seek to adopt a Chinese girl? And what's the deal with that aggressive homeless guy? A guy like me could use some explanations. / Lesson learned: The woods are full of danger: foxes, wolves, bears, drunk gamekeepers, ticks, and sober gamekeepers.

Well, it's clear now; there's no pretending to be unbiased or attempting objectivity. The creators have reeled me in so perfectly that the only way they'd lose me is if they cast Idris Elba as a young James Caan and Rihanna as Diane Keaton. Lucky for me, that hasn't happened, so I've got nothing but praise for how seamlessly they've blended facts with fiction and crafted a tense and ominous atmosphere for one short scene. What more can I say? It's a great show. / Lesson learned: Don't let others see in your eyes what you wish for. They might make it happen, and you don't want that.

By the standard rating, this episode might be a solid three stars, but Abed's announcement on the intercom just nailed the whole thing so perfectly that I couldn't help but throw in that extra star. The eleventh episode wasn't exactly mind-blowing, but it kept me entertained pretty darn well. / Lesson learned: The higher your expectations or curiosity, the bigger the chance for disappointment.

The last episode was definitely better, but hey, the tenth one didn't crash and burn. For the first time, Seňor Chang didn't get on my nerves like crazy. I could've used a bigger dose of humor and a smaller dose of singing, but I was pleasantly surprised by how Pierce and his motivational coaching got to me this time. / Lesson: Always pick your chair wisely.