Necrotongue

I find this episode utterly pointless. No ties to the main storyline, and the peak of the humor was Marshall finding himself in the women's restroom... Oh well... I will make it to the end of this show, but I never plan on rewatching it. / Lesson learned: When your future self pays a visit, don't sweat the small stuff; focus on the stock market.

It's not getting better, not that I expected an improvement. The nineteenth episode didn't bring any interesting plot or a decent portion of quality humor, so for me, the only entertainment was a tour of Barney's apartment. So far the clear winner in the battle for the title of "worst season". / Lesson learned: There's nothing like romance in Las Vegas.

The episode had its bright moments (Skittles were the best), but, unfortunately, they were few and far between. The playbook is running on fumes, and with the creators constantly revisiting it, it's starting to resemble a teabag that's been used way too many times. It won't add any color to the water anymore, let alone flavor. And speaking of things overstaying their welcome, Jeanette has been there for way too long. / Lesson learned: Go for the quiet snacks; gummibears, cotton candy, and bubblegum are the way to go.

Let me start with the negatives. I'm not a fan of child actors (and actresses, to respect gender equality). The human-birdrat’s appearance and motions weren’t very convincing either, so I soon resigned to the fact that I made the wrong choice. My surprise was all the more pleasant when the film turned out to be a very decent psychological drama with horror elements. The Finns have once again shown me why they are among my favorite European filmmakers. Let's face it, the premise was less than ideal, but they managed to turn it into a film with an atmosphere, that didn't lack tension, urgency, or critique of today's insta-parents. The biggest surprise for me was the thirteen-year-old Siiri Solalinna’s debut. She was hardly ever off-screen and played her role damn well. I also have to commend the film's director Hanna Bergholm, who ignored current trends, didn’t bother with feminist propaganda or politically correct quota, and made a film with a delightfully depressing tone. / Lesson learned: When you look up from your phone, you’ll see life all around you. And death.

Well, this was definitely a weird film. I'll admit I'd never heard of Christa Päffgen before. I was expecting to find out more about her in this film, which didn't quite happen. I can't say that I’m still blissfully ignorant, but I'd rather not go into writing her biography. There are way too many blank spaces. Granted, the film does focus on the final stage of the singer's life, and the occasional flashbacks are surprisingly informative, but I still think she deserved a more comprehensive biopic. As I’m writing this solely based on what I've just found out about her life through this film, it obviously wasn’t disappointing; it rather piqued my curiosity and deserves three stars for that. The performance of Trine Dyrholm in the title role was superb. / Lesson learned: Say no to drugs.

It's a shame that the creators couldn't maintain consistent quality in this episode. I really enjoyed hearing about the encounter with the Captain from three different perspectives (or three types of memory). While it didn't have me laughing out loud, I was entertained. But then, everything took a nosedive with the continuation of the story involving the little monster, which ruined all the fun for me. / Lesson learned: If your memory is failing you, record everything.

The creators stuck to the low standards set by the eighth season. Still, I'm giving this episode two stars because there were moments that I surprisingly enjoyed. The squatting policewoman wasn't a bad idea, but the atypical nanny was even better. / Lesson learned: Put the pacifier on a string.

If it wasn't for Barney's stay among the Canadians, I wouldn't even have a single star to give because the rest was just pathetic. I had my fingers crossed it wouldn't happen again, but nope, the creators went and dropped another one of Robin's music videos on us. / Lesson learned: Seriously, enough is enough.

Who would have thought? This episode not only put me in a good mood but also had me laughing out loud. / Lesson learned: Beware, Anthrax is not just a metal band.

It seems like the regular cast can't carry the series any further, so it's up to the guest actors to swoop in and save the day. In this episode, Leland..., I mean, Ray Wise, emerged as the hero, and thanks to him, I could once again have a good laugh. Other than his shining moment, it was just the usual eighth season standard, which isn't exactly my thing. But hey, I saw a vampire in broad daylight, so I'm giving this episode two stars. / Lesson learned: Never munch on confetti. Never.