The Last Stand

Three starts because, despite all its shortcomings (from my subjective perspective), the film was fun and didn’t make me want to turn it off. What’s hopeless, though, are its attempts at humour, and it’s sad to see that Arnold’s overacting has infected everyone around him (Stormare!!!). The final fight on the bridge is also a self-parody almost. But all that notwithstanding, I had pretty good fun. (26/04/2013)

Jee-woon Kim's ability to make the viewer tolerate unbelievable plot twists and WTF characters and their motivations lies in creating a fictional micro-universe that, if you embrace it, gave you the experience the director wanted you to have. The Last Stand may have had all the makings to follow its predecessors in this, but somehow it all got screwed up. The FBI command room destroys the illusion of the fatalistic isolation of the heroes, the governor is an extremely inept actor (one you'd almost forget), and no one has drilled into the director's head enough that there's a marked difference between making a movie in Korea and the US. That's why some of the action scenes look pretty lame, even as the camera whizzes past on a crane when the characters are just standing around and talking. As a result, The Last Stand doesn't so much resuscitate Arnold's career, but the era of 90s B-movies with Van Damme, where main street stands in for an entire city, the supporting characters shoot the bad guys with one hand, fall in love with each other with the other, and the heroes don't give their honor away for free. I don't blame the director, though. Given that he still didn't know a word of English during filming, the blame clearly lies with his translator. (11/02/2013)

If I had seen this movie ten years ago, I would have probably peed myself for sheer joy. I like great sports cars, slinky girls and mainly Arnold! I gained a couple more wrinkles on my face (but fewer than the Austrian oak, it must be said) and I want a few more. But it’s still more than just good fun and in some places it holds some very pleasant surprises. One definite asset is Jee-woon Kim, who squeezes the maximum out of it, with half an eye on old westerns, he is properly bloodthirsty and tries not to take the beaten track, but when he has to, he shows off about it. In terms of acting, this is the inoffensive standard playing supporting roles for old man Arnold who is exactly the way we like him best. Luckily, Knoxville doesn’t bother us much. There are a couple of really effective scenes that pull The Last Stand up to above average, the best of which is the ingenious chase through the corn field. Mainly, Arnold is back with all the trimmings, it’s a shame that more people aren’t visiting the theaters to greet him. (14/02/2013)

OK, let the main character, written somewhere between Wayne and Eastwood, play a guy with a heavy Germanic accent. In more emotionally tense scenes, he resembles a bulldozer accidentally parked at a bicycle show and makes jokes about being an immigrant. Place under it the soundtrack, which partly springs up in heavy bass offensives, sometimes pays modernity, sometimes shifts to (probably ironic) classics, and often also the western ancestors. And let a Korean film it all, so that it sometimes resembles a border western, sometimes series crap about Texas rangers, sometimes an 80's action film and sometimes modern (I still can't decide whether the überdigital cuts in some of the action were a stylish intention or not). A film is most likely to be made that works best in segments where no one is acting or talking. The problem is that there are very few of those segments, and also the fact that Arnie doesn't act in comic / dramatic scenes any better in the new millennium than in his golden years - and there are very few scenes where he can give his sarcastic one-liners. The significant difference from the eighties is that the crowds will no longer be rushing to go see it. It's a pity - the last The Expendables showed the path that these old tanks can still go down. It just takes more exaggeration, self-reflection and fewer attempts to "make character". During the final fight on the digital bridge, I couldn't decide whether to feel amusement or slight regret over that anachronism. A bit of both in the end, this is The Last Stand. (08/02/2013)

The people behind this film fortunately quickly realized that this won't be another Terminator 2 and that it won't work "directly" with Arnold anymore, so they went about it cleverly. Thanks to skillful editing and camera work, the main protagonist is quite watchable, although many other things here are downright hopeless. An awfully boring and generic villain, inconsistent action (excellently edited shots intertwine with horribly confusing and chaotic ones), uneven pace, average one-liners. Sometimes I felt a brackish feeling. Yes, self-parody doesn't hurt (sometimes there is nothing else left) and it's still quite alright, but don't expect anything groundbreaking. It's not in any way progressive or clever from a creative standpoint. Just an average action movie with a few very interesting chases in a cornfield. (26/03/2013)