The Expendables 2

“My shoe is bigger than this car!” Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Ed Wood of Hollywood actors. Hardly any film this year will bring me more delight and a bigger testosterone rush than The Expendables 2, an inane B-movie with cheap digital effects and great catchphrases and genre references. And the fact that the best actor playing the movie’s best character is Jean-Claude Van Damme will go down in history. (04/11/2012)

It's not less that a good old classic. A group of retirees travel to digitally modified Bulgaria, alternating game maps that reflect the nostalgic-archetypal touch of the genre, and here and there we have deus ex machina, greeted by a volley of insider jokes. The banality of the plot as well as the parody touch of space and characters add post-modern qualities to it, while Simon West also adds clear personal qualities and a solid tempo. Fortunately, Stallone already understood that some seriousness or "realistic" motivation had no place here - nostalgics wanted their messages and more winks. Blunt warrior macho sentiment still abounds, but this time it's filler between great comedic performances and cutting action with much better timing than in the first film. Although it is again "only" an action encyclopedia, this time it is richly illustrated and has even more bloated references to the mythology of the wheezy grandfathers. I had a great time. (27/08/2012)

With the passing of a few weeks, I cooled off and took a star off. I really liked the first film better, I expected more room for Arnold Schwarzenegger, some of the lines felt forced, the plot slowed down unexpectedly after the bombastic beginning and Chuck Norris appeared in The Expendables 2 probably mainly to prove to the non-believers that he is real and not imaginary... But the stunning finale gave me absolutely everything I wanted. (12/10/2012)

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, things that I always wanted to see, on the other exaggerated prancing about for female fans and zero story. Arnold’s lines are way off. Norris tells jokes about himself and the whole thing is very forced, and not in a good way. The greatest positive element here is Van Damme who enjoys being evil. Anytime he walks into shot, it’s worth it. In the finale, Sly makes the most of how pissed he was that he didn’t land a role in part one. :-) West’s directing is visually high standard, but in places the action is confusing and very little of it is interesting. Jet Li is gone in an instant, luckily we see more of Dolph. I’m giving this four stars, but purely out of blind fandom. Otherwise, someone deserves a slap for the credits. (14/09/2012)

Objectively, with a runtime of under two hours, you just can't give all the characters the space they undoubtedly deserve. Beyond that, it’s a pure action spectacle that works exactly as I wanted it to because it doesn’t underestimate fan intelligence - this is the only way to get the action going, which is secondary because the primary thing is to ride the wave of catchphrases that beat into the mummified icons of most of the people involved. (13/09/2012)