Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Not convincing Gemma Arterton to show her tits is utterly petty of Wirkola and foreshadows other ills. Thought the direction, like Dead Snow, is total anarchy (meant as a positive) that doesn't particularly worry about time, space, sequence, or characters, Hansel and Gretel often fails in its guilty pleasure potential. That is to say, the main sibling duo don't sleep together, though it seems headed that way several times, no children die, and the violence doesn't cross a certain threshold. On the other hand, the unbelievably long and retarded monologues of the main witch, who still has all of her members even two minutes after she opens her mouth, which is grossly inconsistent with the characters' approach to anything else, are outrageous. The action scenes are somewhat reminiscent of a video game in their conception (the witch running away from Renner and throwing various adversities in his path that he must overcome; the girl at the stationary machine gun trying to mow down all the witches in front of her, who come flying in from different directions) which I have no problem with, but overall I'm sorry that a scene like the one with the Gingerbread Man in The Brothers Grimm was more WTF than this entire movie. (06/03/2013)

A kickass R-rated movie based on the fairytales of the Brothers Grimm. Wirkola, who last directed the undead army of the Wehrmacht in Dead Snow is in his element. Witch blood by the gallon, kids dying (a lot) and the “friendly" troll squashes heads like flies. Hansel Renner is a nice guy as always, just that they gave the poor guy diabetes and Gretel Arterton looks great. And they really like beating up on people with the audience in the theater egging them on. The head witch, Famke Janssen is also a fox. And the weapons mmm... every kid’s dream. Blessing a Gatling gun? Hell yeah! Mainly, don’t go into the gingerbread house. (02/03/2013)

Reminded me more of The Exorcist than Hansel and Gretel... I recommend showing it to your kids at bedtime if you have a morbid desire to change their diapers even at puberty. Otherwise, it’s an ordinary action movie that tried to have funny lines but didn't really succeed. It's a weird mishmash of all sorts of things, but it's watchable. (03/01/2014)

The fairytale of the Brothers Grimm is quite different, in both the good and the bad sense of the word. Hansel and Gretel is a very brisk film with a likable cast, mixing wit, action and romance, and it's watchable in the end, but it doesn't dazzle, nor does it leave anything deeper (which is to be expected, but still). Örvarsson's music reminded me terribly of Sherlock (Zimmer as executive music producer) right at the beginning, which maybe bothered me a bit, but then it fizzled out. The plot wasn't bad, but I'm sure the overall theme could have been fleshed out more. That said, the primary purpose of the film was (probably) to serve up a crazy action-packed take on a fairy tale classic that was meant to entertain, which it did. In short, an average Hollywood film that stands out from the rest perhaps only in its approach and relationship to the source materia (19/06/2013)

More like two and a half stars. On the one hand, there will be swearing at Van Helsing and The Brothers Grimm, and on the other hand, people will marvel at this gem that is considerably less imaginative and funny. And never-mind the actors. Could it be that the cheap, bloody special effects that many people gush about helped add to the great fun I'm reading about here? Or perhaps the forced coolness of the main characters, especially the once again unprecedentedly wooden Jeremy Renner? Or the parade of awkward vulgarities? It's possible... Anyway, I did smile occasionally and the action scenes had quite good swing, but the best character of the whole film was simply Edward the troll, who topped even the lovely Gemma Arterton in second place. Peter Stormare played almost the same man in the aforementioned The Brothers Grimm, and he did it better. (09/06/2013)