Machete

Great B-movie of the exact type that I enjoy. Action-packed, rough, crazy, and with an excellent main character. Great scenes that I can still recall in my mind. It's a shame that Rodriguez sometimes ignores digital tricks and prefers to go the traditional route of classic tricks. It would fit the B-movie quite well, even though it's a modern B-movie. Other than that, I had a great time. (26/02/2014)

So, that little grindhouse flick that was shadowed by Stallone’s The Expendables turned out to be something completely outrageous that knows no limits. A perfect dose of trash and self-awareness. Trejo! Seagal! Alba! De Niro! Fahey! Lohan! Rodriguez! Rodriguez! While The Expendables fool around… (27/09/2010)

With similarly tuned retro images, it is difficult to find a reasonable line between piety, parody and seriousness, if I paraphrase the words of one of the protagonists: Machete didn't cross the line, the line crossed Machete. This film is the most entertaining and dullest spectacle I can imagine in the genre. If I’d had it on VHS in the 1980s, I’d undoubtedly have long hair, a black mustache and a sharpened machete. And a girl with one eye. [85%] (10/09/2010)

They should have stuck with the fake trailer. It serves up imaginative action and catchphrases in every other scene, but the whole thing is kind of... sterile. And boring at that. Lost among the geysers of stylishness is a plot that needed to draw us in more and give us more insight into the characters. I know, it’s all about a slightly different genre and intelligence rules, but even when you have one of the ugliest people running around between Hollywood and Mexico in the lead role, you expect the fun to be a little more serious, or conversely, a little crazier. Like Planet Terror. (29/09/2010)

The star of Machete is neither Danny Trejo – Machete nor even Danny Trejo – Gardener. I acknowledge that this guy has cult status as an acting legend of one particular subgenre, but that doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t know how to act. He only knows how to grimace. The true stars of Machete are the numerous and superbly cast villains, among whom any viewer can find the right “badass motherfucker” of their choice. For me it was Don Johnson hiding behind a pair of huge sunglasses. I also liked Steven Seagal, who truly relished his part. 2010 seems to be the year of good old (or obsolete) action heroes. Robert Rodriguez conceived Machete in an orgasm-inducing epic fashion and you’ll probably remember more scenes from this than from Planet Terror. But it lacks dialogue gems with cult potential, as well as the presence of another nutjob character with the face of the great Mr. Q. T.. (01/10/2010)