Clash of the Titans

Dumb, but not dumb enough to be at least be funny. Several video game levels with legendary Greek monsters that could be described as follows: I’m going somewhere → I kill a monster → I get some clues → I carry on. The monsters look pretty nice and so do the settings (you can see the budget), but the filler and the dialogues are lethal, with Perseus et al. constantly philosophising about their semi-godly nature, almighty Zeus almost breaking a branch under his own weight, Bubo rolling somewhere in junk and Andromeda pragmatically letting herself be eaten. That’s almost all of it. Worthington has nothing to work with, his Perseus is mentally a teenager and not a hero to whose hands I’d be willing to entrust my destiny. The gods shine weirdly, which instead of divine looks cheap, and certainly doesn’t give the impression that they lord over the world. The climax never had a chance to save the film and the last scene actually buries it. 45% (16/04/2010)

Honestly, better than I expected, with decent fights and excellent visual effects. Incomparable to the original, but I'm glad nobody even tried. A likeable summer blockbuster. Mads Mikkelsen is the best of the lot, and Gemma Arterton is possibly the hottest babe in Hollywood right now. (01/05/2010)

After the trailer massage, I couldn’t wait to see it, the negative responses took my expectations down to the deepest depths and the end result is somewhere in between. Well not completely in between because the positives outweigh the negatives. The beginning was like hurry up let’s get it over with, so the adventure can begin, reeling off some cool lines and killing some monsters, but as soon as we get to the adventure part everything is gonna be alright. It’s the fault of the screenplay which is a rough-and-tumble patchwork of the worst kind with a couple of good ideas. Leterrier is still not good enough director to be able to hide this, but thanks to him the Titans are brimming over with unbelievable kinetics. There are sweeping shots of everything imaginable, impressive special effect and a very good cast. Sam’s acting style is more or less classic, the role of Perseus doesn’t need anything more than that, but Mads Mikkelsen literally shines like a star. Liam Neeson was a pretty good Zeus and Gemma Arterton… well… I can’t bring myself to say a single word against her. She is a beauty and she really can act. It’s a shame that the Kraken stayed a little dormant, but it could be expected in terms of speeding up the plot. I was surprised to see such low marks and so I decided to give it more stars. I look forward to watching it again sometime. (27/06/2010)

You won't find a better on-screen adventure for miles, but the bad thing is that this is a remake of a cult classic that definitely didn't deserve this level of editing. Leterrier likes action, which is decently underscored by Djawadi's aggressive bass, but unfortunately, he layers it into a completely nonsensical and UNINTERESTING whole that relies on visuals from The Lord of the Rings and a frantic pace that simply BORES with its perpetual asking of logical questions! Without the badasses Mikkelsen and Cunningham and the beautiful Arterton, there would be absolutely nothing to see here. (28/04/2010)

The rulers of heaven, which looks like something from a cheap porn flick, send two “scary” characters – a dimwit from Star Trek and a CGI Medusa with a model’s face – to stop a modern-day Chuck Worthington Norris from preventing Kraken’s King-Kong dinner. If Louis Leterrier really is a fan of the 1981 original, which, as he says, is forever in his heart and on his mind, he should get a brain transplant. (14/04/2010)