G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I watched it in 3 hours or so with all "stop" and "play". So I wasn't that bored. Still, I was tempted to fast-forward some of the fight scenes. Unnecessarily long running time, I'm sure it could have been done better in 80 minutes. It's very nice that they all knew each other, had a tragic past, and something in common. Such bullshit. It's watchable, but you better not turn your brain on. So if you want to turn it off, and turn it off hard, put this on. (17/10/2009)

Action Man dolls fighting. It’s stupid, unbelievable, illogical and also really entertaining. Sommers may not be as good at action sequences as Bay, but still your eyes will be out on stalks: during the Star Wars battle under the sea, during the chase through Dejvice [a district of Prague] (excuse me, through Paris), during the duel with samurai swords, during the totally dumb lines that the Czech dubbing improved in translation. Quaid is cool, Tatum a chump and Arnold Vosloo a nice guy. It’s no surprise, having watched the trailers, that Rachel Nicols and Sienna Miller cause much drooling. And even Fantomas makes an appearance. Don’t take G.I. Joe at all seriously, it’s just an expensive commercial for toys. What the?! (13/08/2009)

Chaning Tatum is one of the busiest young actors currently filming. "G. I. Joe" is definitely not the best thing he has ever filmed, but it is a movie that can satisfy a viewer who is not looking for a demanding action film, but is satisfied with positive characters, tough guys, a few good lines, which are definitely present here, and finally one or more villains, which you certainly won't confuse with the positive hero. "G. I. Joe" has the advantage that a considerable amount of money was invested in it, which can be seen in the effects, which is also the only thing where the money is visible. And there really wasn't a small amount of money. 175 million dollars is a decent budget. The estimated budget for "Avengers" is around 220 million dollars, which is not that much more. What the money is not visible on is the story and especially some dialogues. It's like we are really in a very bad B-movie action film, because some of the nonsense that the characters have is truly unbelievable. But if you don't think about it and let yourself be drawn into the strange revelation of the villain, you're in for some average entertainment. More: http://www.filmovy-denik.cz/2012/05/kocour-v-botach-jedna-hodne-blba-svatba.html (19/02/2013)

Exactly as expected. I wouldn't bother with a one-star-rating essay about how bollocks it is, even a small child knows it's bollocks. So I don't see a reason not to fully enjoy it knowingly. The action is unprecedented and cleverly filmed , with well-executed various technical gimmicks and other trifles. The acceleration suits are really cool. Above all, please don't look for something that isn't there, get some quality speakers, a big-screen TV, and let's go. (29/11/2009)

One of the most entertaining action flicks ever made. The visuals are as polished and stylish as the magnum of Dirty Harry, and Sommers, as the enthusiastic popcorn filmmaker he is, doesn't shy away from any means of making them stand out above the story. G. I. Joe is another totally unbelievable American "superhero-movie", something we have to get increasingly used to with the development of computer technology, and which the viewer has to shake their head at until they get tired of it and start simply enjoying the whole thing. There’s a lot to see here, in addition to the aforementioned effects and endless megalomaniacal action, there is also a plethora of familiar faces whose presence is, for the most part, a purely commercial affair and a wink in the direction of Sommers's previous films, but can still make any fan genuinely happy. We Czechs will surely enjoy the "Prague" scene, which happens to be one of the most entertaining of the whole film and even tops the ending at the North Pole. I had a great time from beginning to end, so I'm happy to ignore the detail that the story is one big cliché this time. 80% (09/02/2013)