10,000 BC

"From the eternal child to his fans, with love Roland." I certainly don't count myself among Emmerich's fans, but I won't fault this movie. The only problem I see is the name, which should at least seemingly remind us of historical realities. But this is absolutely not about history, and Emmerich knows it. The whole thing is as predictable as a fairy tale, that's all there is to it. The pseudo-historical realities serve as a vehicle, not a goal, and if the Brothers Grimm's name had appeared in the end credits, I wouldn't have been surprised, really. Think of it as a sterile, harmless bedtime story, with a guy with dreadlocks and supermodels in furs running arounds, with very pretty pictures that stand out on the big screen and you can't be mad. (21/05/2008)

With the exception of the mammoth hunt at the beginning, this naïve CGI fairy-tale has absolutely nothing to offer and is not entertaining, not even with Emmerich’s expected trademark silliness. It’s been a long time since I felt that I completely wasted two hours in a theater. From the script to the actors, 10,000 BC is an utterly empty movie. Ugh. (17/03/2008)

Uncharismatic actors, empty plot, instead of epic grandiosity and monumentality we have a stark journey of a group of homeless people to a pseudo city with visually impressive digital pyramids, the changing of locations is downright awkward (three minutes of cold, three minutes of jungle, three minutes of desert). The special effects team did a fairly good job, but otherwise this mess is completely pointless. Camilla Belle is delightful eye-candy, but even with the heroic music, half of which is stolen from King Arthur, the poor thing can't save it. (22/07/2008)

First of all, I like films that maintain authenticity as much as possible. That's why I enjoyed Mel Gibson's films "Apocalypto" and "The Passion of the Christ" so much. He didn't succumb to the Hollywood bungle of filming everything in English at any cost. That deserves my deep and enduring admiration. One filmmaker already attempted a prehistoric film. Of course, there were others, but I mention Jean-Jacques Annaud primarily because his film "Quest for Fire" is something that appeals to my taste. In the movie, they don't speak, or if they do, it certainly isn't English. And not even French. It's about prehistoric people, why should they speak modern language in it? More: http://www.filmovy-denik.cz/2013/02/10-000-pr-n-l-2008-15.html (23/03/2013)

Directed by a Cro-Magnon, screenplay by a Neanderthal, and actors are homo sapiens sap... No, just plain homo sapiens. Just crap the size of a mammoth, excuse my language, turd. I’m sure even those saber-toothed tigers are capable of having more meaningful dialogs. And these are the movie’s greatest assets. It's hard to find a dumber and more idiotic movie, that is at the same time so sincerely childishly and mean-spiritedly entertaining. The best part is that apparently everyone takes it so deadly seriously. There is not a single deliberate joke ore snappy comeback in the whole film. Personally, what most amused me was Omar Sharif's "poetic" narrator and playing at thoughtful mythology. From the Egyptian passage onward I began to be afraid that it would turn out to be a prolog to Stargate. If you're expecting a second Quest for Fire you have the wrong movie, but if you want to see one big “what?", you're definitely in the right place. (06/07/2008)